COFFEE - a flippant guide to coffee and those who drink it.

Most of us have an ongoing love affair with coffee, but does your choice of coffee say anything about you ? Read on... do you know anyone who fits the bill?

Lets start with an old faithful, the CAPPUCCINO…                         A kind warm hearted person, but sometimes totally oblivious to the world around you.  Once in a while friends have to remind you to wipe the froth from your lips !                                                                                                                    

OK, now for all you LATTE lovers…You are often indecisive but reflective and a real thinker.     You prefer the safe option in a world of variable and unknown quantities. You follow the crowd.

Perhaps for more adventurous a MOCHA…now you don’t really like coffee, but you do need the boost it provides. Improvisation is the key here for your creative juices to flow in your fun loving environment. 

               

         

For the straw lovers amoung us, yes really, an ICED COFFEE…you don’t let the seasons affect you at all, this one  is for you, you assertive beast you, you have to be different, an individual, even outspoken, and that's that. Done.

                            

And for that matter FRAPPUCCINO drinkers….don’t lie, what you really like is ice cream, you might just as well admit it here and now, you just claim to love coffee. Carry on your happy energised way to life. As long as it's got ice cream you will eat or drink it, Oh and you too love straws -OMG!

Now the heavy stuff ESPRESSO… you really do like coffee, it is of course a rare but admirable trait in life's myriad of tastes. You have to be and indeed are adaptive, that’s why you first started drinking it this way, but a friendly sort of a person to boot.

  

While we are here DOUBLE ESPRESSO… this is for hardworking practical sorts who found out the hard way, one shot just doesn’t do it for you any more. Oh what a feeling!, if you want it flat n white just add steamed milk, but why would you bother?  

OMG the TRIPLE ESPRESSO… obsessed with coffee I tell you, simply obsessed. You may be enthusiastic but you have been around far too long, well at least since the 1990’s anyway. You might as well chew on the beans. Mind your false teeth though.

                    

From way across the water AMERICANO… Oh dear, well here we have it, the liker of the simple things in life, the calm conscientious one in the group, lover of chirping birds, a picnic, the wind in your hair AND very watery coffee. God bless America.

Mainly for blokes MACCHIATO… mostly a reserved traditionalist but let’s be honest, you just hate the foam on your moustache, a macho male chauvinist redneck under that facade portrayed to us all.

                     

And for those on the run COFFEE TO GO…  a totally and fully focused individual. You do actually believe that the tough only do get going when the going gets tough, and the tough get cardboard because they can’t manage a hot cup. Now calm down, take a moment to savour the moment, to inhale the aroma, to feel the sensation of your coffee tickling the taste buds.

                        

                                                                                             

Last but by no means least, EXPRESSO… you may well be very clever, but you are probably rather annoying, possibly both. For some inexplicable reason you always mispronounce ESPRESSO and for that simple fact, probably amoung some others, I hate you !

JAM 2017:  (Based on information from DOGHOUSEDIARIES and images from free on line sources).